A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, but if you were to try it with one foot in your mouth you might come up with something like these alternative definitions.

Acre (n): Someone with a niggling pain (Jon Muller)
Average (n): Middle-of-the-road wrath (Tim Shulz)
Buoyant (n): Male insect (Charlie Kennedy)
Carriage (n): Motorway madness (Simone Potter)
Chauffeur (v):  To reveal animal hair (Jon Muller)
Convertible (v): To change an ox (Tim Shulz)
Deplane (v): To cover with coloured patterns (David Watts)
Furnish (adj): Like a small woodland plant (Nancy Sutcliffe)
Invested (adj): Tucked into the pocket of your three-piece suit (Tim Shulz)
Respect (adj): Wearing new glasses (Nancy Sutcliffe)
Socialise (n): Small untruths required to climb the social ladder (Charlie Kennedy)
Syntax (n): Dues to pay for being bad (Jon Muller)
Tudor (adj): Having fewer than three doors (David Watts)
Winking (n): Top bird (Jon Muller)
Wolfish (n): Amphibious sheep (Jon Muller)

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