The 21st century lives, breathes and eats the internet, that wide area network that connects the world. Thanks to the internet we can share ideas, thoughts and – a teenage essential – gossip.
Through the miracle of the internet it has come to my attention that mums around the world recite the same overused complaints to their fed up wards.
Check out this example, for instance...
- 1996 Mumbai: Why do you spend so much? Money doesn’t grow on trees!
- 1998 Los Angeles: Why do you spend so much? Money doesn’t grow on trees!
- 2001 Tokyo: Why do you spend so much? Money doesn’t grow on trees!
- 2011 Abu Dhabi: Why do you spend so much? Money doesn’t grow on trees!
Teenagers the world over have come to the consensus that all of our mothers are saying the exact same things to us – it’s like they’re all reading from the same Handbook of Parent’s Complaints. How is it possible that all those many mums from all those different places manage to say the exact same lines every time? Well, I’m here to let all my adolescent friends all over the world in on a little secret ...
The existence of a MWAN – the mum wide area network!
If we can have a wide area network in the form of the internet, then it certainly seems possible that all the mums of the world have been using their hair as antennae and connecting with others of their kind to scheme and plot.
It’s through the use of this MWAN that mothers the world over have figured out how to make their kids feel guilty even when we innocent children have done nothing wrong. Our mums only could have mastered that ability with the help of centuries of experience passed down and processed by millions of mums globally.
It’s just as well, though. If they didn’t have their strength in numbers, our mums would probably just sigh and forget about trying to educate us. And then where would we be?
Shehzareen Haider, age 15
