Valentine’s Day – Dir Garry Marshall, starring Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Eric Dane, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway, Queen Latifah, Shirley MacLaine, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Robinson

... And that’s less than half the starry cast assembled for this lightweight bonbon of a movie. It’s a raft of talent assembled to no great effect, though; it’s not that anyone is downright bad, just that the script doesn’t give anyone much to do. Indeed, it’s the kind of story you could rough out yourself: a parade of past, present and would-be lovers are lost, found, avenged and mated with all on the Day of Love. If you don’t have a date or a partner, you’ll definitely feel comprehensively left out of things.

A couple of the stories rise above the norm: Anne Hathaway provides "adult phone entertainment" in different accents to earn some extra money to the disgust of her would-be boyfriend, Jennifer Garner is a betrayed woman who plots her revenge on a married lover, Ashton Kutcher is the florist who sells flowers to several of the characters, Shirley MacLaine offers her husband a Valentine's Day gift of an ill-advised secret.

Garry Marshall functions more as a benign tour guide around scenic LA locations than a disciplined director, which is one reason the movie clocks in at nearly two hours (in the UAE-compatible version: it’s lost nine minutes along
the way).

As the title suggests, never was there a more targeted film – so once 14th February has gone, so will the audience.